Pregnancy News
by seaofhopes
Summary: Set after episode 1.07. Sam is faced with what really happened between her and Eddie that night. She's feeling a million different things. She's not sure she wants this baby or how Eddie will react to her pregnancy. What is she supposed to do? How is she supposed to tell him?


Her hands were clammy. The last time Samantha Swift had felt this nervous was when Syd was dropping her off at rehab. The withdrawal had been bad. Her entire body shaking and sweating, freeing itself from the poison that had made a home inside of her. Now she was experiencing similar symptoms. Except her body wasn't ridding itself of something, this time it was using every ounce of energy available to produce new life.

"What am I going to do?"

The last few months spent by Eddie's side had taught her that happiness was attainable. That life wasn't one big karmic entity that made sure all the bad you did was paid in full like an overdue debt. It had been exactly sixteen days since that drug induced coma had led to her waking up naked in Eddie's bed. Sixteen days. It had take nearly half of that for both of them to start acting normal around each other. They had _just_ pushed the wondering of what had occurred that night to the back of their minds and now this new information was coming back to haunt them.

"This is terrible." The words left a bitter taste on her tongue. With shaking hands she looked down at the slender white stick that was sitting on the bathroom sink. The small plus sign taunted her with every second that passed. Samantha Swift was pregnant. Pregnant. Yet, instead of beaming with happiness she was overflowing with anxiety. "It's too soon. What if he doesn't want this? What if he's not ready for this?" _What if I'm not ready for this?_

Sam was ignorant when it came to Eddie's feelings about children. Did he think they were needy little blobs that craved attention and endless amounts of love? Or did he think they were a natural part of growing older and setting down roots? "How am I going to tell him?" Running a hand through her knotted tresses she took a big breath of air. "What if I don't tell him?" _Then, he'll hate you forever._ She looked at her reflection in the mirror. The woman staring back at her was defeated. The black circles beneath her eyes the battle scars of the rough night she'd had.

* * *

Retrieving the pregnancy test from the sink she debated tossing it into the trash can. Maybe she'd need it later. To show the private investigator that she wasn't completely crazy about being pregnant.

* * *

The smell of butter and popcorn drifted from the kitchen into Sam's office. Typically, the smell would invoke a wide smile across her lips as she ran excitedly to the conference room for their weekly movie night. Tonight it didn't have that effect on her. Instead, it caused her stomach to jumble up and send her running to the bathroom. Everything she'd consumed at lunch came spiraling back up. If this was any sign of what she was in for during the next few months she wasn't sure she'd be able to hack it.

Splashing some water across her face she tried to regain her composure. "Just tell him. Just rip off the bandaid."

The self-confidence lasted for about a split second. The moment she saw Eddie march into the conference room she could feel herself grow weary. "I don't think I can do this."

"Do what?" Monica cocked her head to the side and stared at Sam blankly.

"Nothing. It's nothing." Sam shook her head repeatedly and grabbed the tub of popcorn from Monica's hand. She shoved a fistful of popcorn into her mouth and pretended to enjoy the way it felt against her tongue. "This is so good." _So good that I almost want to throw up_. "What movie are we watching?" She didn't wait for Monica to respond, instead she bolted back into her office and shut the door.

"I definitely _can't_ do this. I mean he doesn't need to know, right?" Sam plopped down on a chair and was about to grab another handful of popcorn when the smell sent her reeling. Placing the tub down on the coffee table she pushed it as far away as possible.

* * *

Berto was putting the final touches on the nights set-up. He'd spent the last hour connecting the projector, hanging the screen, and putting each chair in the best position for optimum viewing. It was all very scientific. Everyone needed to be at least five feet away from the screen, anything closer and it was impossible to get a clear view of the entire screen.

"All done." Berto smiled to himself and looked around the room. Everything was perfect. He'd bought an endless supply of snacks. There were skittles, sour patch kids, gummy bears, licorice, and jelly beans. "The movie's about to start guys." He waved at Eddie and Monica who were grabbing a drink from the kitchen fridge.

He dimmed the lights and sat down at one of the strategically positioned seats. Twirling the chair to face the long table that sat in the middle of the conference room he pulled a bowl of candy closer to himself. Eddie and Monica walked in playfully bantering about how his movie choice provided clear insight into his psyche.

"It's just a movie." Eddie rolled his eyes at the self-proclaimed cyborg.

"It's a western. You're favorite movie no less. That clearly means that you've spent your entire life internalizing misogynistic principles. It's no wonder that you have a hard time releasing control to the women in the office." Monica gave the private investigator a dead-pan glare before shrugging her shoulders and taking some gummy bears from the table.

"Alright, settle down Freud." Eddie couldn't help but smile at her. Her psychoanalysis of his every action was a little much at times, but in that moment he didn't take it personally. He decided to just shrug it off and enjoy her presence. "Let's just watch this movie and not focus on how it's a blatant example of why feminism is needed in modern society."

"You've been reading my textbooks." She was mildly impressed.

"Maybe." A smile tugged at the corner of his lips as he stole a gummy bear from the girls palm. "Where's Sam?" He hadn't noticed her absence until there was no snarky comeback for his previous statement. She was always there to mention how archaic he was or to rub it in whenever he admitted to wrongdoing.

"Ummm…she's in her office I think? She was acting really weird." Monica was sitting beside Berto, tossing popcorn into her open mouth.

"Weird how?" Sam had been distant for the past few days, but he'd just chalked it up to having lost Ava and her childhood friends all within the same week. Maybe there was something more. Maybe she wasn't dealing with the loss as well as she'd said she was.

"She's been really jumpy and talking to herself a lot." Monica looked over at Eddie and saw concern in his eyes. "You should go talk to her. That always makes her feel better." He saw her security blanket. The only person in the world with which she didn't need to be guarded.

"Yeah." The private investigator set down the popcorn on the table and clapped the flakes of salt off of his fingers. "I'll be right back."

"I'm not pausing the movie." Berto pointed to the screen, implying that the movie was just about to get good.

"It's fine, I've already seen it a million times." He craned his head down and whispered into his friends ear, "The sheriff dies in the end."

Berto threw his head back in frustration, "Dude! Why did you ruin the movie?"

"He didn't. The sheriff doesn't actually die." Monica didn't even look away from the screen as she spoke. "He's just toying with you." She lifted a hand and shooed Eddie away. "Go talk to Sam or be quiet, the movie is getting good."

Eddie wanted to laugh and point out her hypocrisy, but decided it against it. "I'm going to go check on Sam."

* * *

Sam was spinning herself around in the chair. The images drifted in and out of focus. All the blues and whites of the carpet blending together and melting apart, mimicking the chaos that was exploding in her head. "What do I do?" She stopped spinning and turned her head up to the ceiling. "God, what do I do?" Maybe a higher power would provide her with some divine intervention.

Eddie watched her from the doorway. Her hair looked like angry waves crashing down on the sand every time she spun around. "I don't think he's up there." He gave Sam a playful smile, but she didn't find his comment amusing. Her eyes looked back at him blankly. Her usual warm smile and kind eyes were hidden behind a mask of pain and sorrow. "What's wrong?" He grabbed both sides of the chair and crouched down in front of her. "Talk to me."

Sam felt him brush away her hair and caress her cheek softly. He wanted her to confide in him, but she wasn't sure that she could form a coherent thought let alone speak properly.

"Sam, you can trust me." His hands found their way to her neck, maneuvering her tired eyes to look straight into his ochre hues. "I'm worried about you."

Sam couldn't bare to look at him. Lowering her gaze once more she gripped his wrist and kissed the inside of his palm. "You're going to hate me." The words were raspy as they left her lips.

"I could never hate you."

"I'm pregnant." The words were void of any emotion. Sam was scared of what this meant. Scared to fall in love with the child only to end up giving it away. A new kind of pain swallowed her petite frame.

Eddie parted his lips for a moment as though searching for the best way to address Sam's statement, but no sound came out. Instead he furrowed his brows and moved slowly away from her.

"I guess now we know what happened that night." The actress felt disgusted with herself. The way he looked at her, like she'd just shot him in the heart broker her into a million pieces. "I know you don't want this. I know this is crazy." _Did he want this?_ Sam rose from the chair and walked to the far end of the room. "I'm scared. I'm scared of what this means for me, for you, for _us_. I don't know how to be a mom. I can barely take care of myself." Sam was rambling. A millions thoughts were colliding in her mind, each one begging to be released into the atmosphere. "It's okay for you to say you don't want this." Sam's shaking hands hovered over her nonexistent baby bump. "I can raise it on my own…we can give it up for adoption…I can have an abortion?" The entire world was crumbling around her.

Keeping the baby was the only choice. Even though she'd rattled off the other choices, neither of them were the right one for her. No matter how hard she tried to lie to herself that this baby was nothing more than a bundle of cells, the truth of the matter was that this baby brought her a happiness she'd never felt before. "I'm keeping it." Her mind was made.

Eddie looked over at the actress. He wanted to touch her, to kiss her, to tell her he loved her, but he couldn't. He didn't know what to do, his mind was a complete blank. From the outside, the lack of expression across his face seemed like a symptom of the panic coursing through his bones. In truth he was numb. He knew this wasn't about him, yet all he could think about was how much he wasn't ready for this. "And you're sure it's mine?" The look of betrayal across Samantha's face made him realize that maybe he'd been too insensitive with his comment.

Sam gave Eddie a pain filled smile, "I haven't been with anyone else since I got out of rehab." Walking over to her desk she retrieved the pregnancy test from her purse. She marched back over to him and pressed it against Eddie's chest. "All you had to do was say you don't want it." The taste of salt drifted into her mouth forcing her to realize that she was crying.

Running a hand across his tired face he rubbed the stubble along is jaw for a few seconds before finally reaching out and pulling Sam toward him. "I'll be by your side no matter what you choose." He pressed the palm of his hand against her belly, her puffy eyes looking up at him with sadness. "I'm with you Samantha Swift. I…I love you more than anything."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." Love wasn't something that came naturally to him. "I love you." Burying his had in Sam's brunette tresses he looked up at the ceiling and prayed to God that he would be a good father to the baby growing inside Sam's belly.

His words brought her some comfort, but she still had doubt. "I love you too." They barely knew each other, how were they supposed to raise a baby together?


End file.
